As a sufferer of anxiety and OCD for 25+ years, I FINALLY took the step this year to attend therapy, and this was the book that my therapist recommended I study before each of our sessions. I have to say that, despite my apprehension of even seeing a counsellor, I was happy as a reader to be given this type of homework.
Summary
In this self-help book, Brown offers her own expertise on, as the subtitle suggests, “how the courage to be vulnerable transforms the way we live love, parent, and lead.”
The book examines the metal stages of shame resilience, belonging, becoming, worthiness, gratitude, cultivating hope, mindfulness, vulnerability but not oversharing, wholeheartedness, and many others.
“Shame resilience is about moving from shame to empathy—the real antidote to shame” (74).
Likes
Stories. Brown uses personal anecdotes to describe the principles of each chapter, which I think adds strength to her credibility on the subject of vulnerability.
“Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others. Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity” (234).
Finding light in our darkness is something that I always thought was a way of overcoming fear. I also learned from this book that “shame breeds fear” (188), which makes sense, because I do feel shame in my life, and therefore, fear.
Quotes. I especially like when she quotes HP, “We’ve all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That’s who we really are.”
Study Guide. Brown has a worksheet that readers can fill out as they review the book. I found this especially helpful when trying to apply the studies to my own situation.
Dislikes
Chapter length. While some chapters are relatively short, many are quite long. I personally would have liked some shorter chapter that talked more about the subtopics instead of cramming them all into one large chapter.
Conclusion
I would recommend this book to people suffering with OCD, anxiety, depression, etc. and for those who are searching for ways to help those they know who suffer with it. Due to my positive experience studying this book, I decided to read her other book, The Gifts of Imperfection.
“Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good” (133).
