“Floorboards creak. Shadows stretch. Shapes in the dark bend and sway. But I don’t let any of that stop me. It’s not because I’m not afraid. I am. I just keep moving forward despite it.”
— Page 217
Summary
This is my new favorite MG novel! It takes place during the Irish immigration to America after the “Potato Famine.” The main character Essie is a fearful child who’s fears stem back to the death of her father. Ever since, she keeps a list of things that scare her and finds herself adding and crossing out things to the list as the story goes on. She finds her fears mounting after her mother marries a doctor with a mysterious past who works at a hospital on an island where many nurses have gone missing. However, things are not as they seem, and Essie soon realizes this the more she confronts her fears to discover the truth.
“I’m afraid, yes. I’m so scared that shivers come in waves up my spine. But I can choose to keep walking forward.”
— Page 214
Application
This book really hit home to me, because I too struggle with anxiety/OCD/etc. so I could relate to this character a lot. I had hoped that the character would grow out of her fear, and I was not disappointed! I tended to like her best friend a little more at the beginning because she was the character who liked to solve mysteries from the get-go (as we see in many MG novels); however, it was neat to see her own flaws come out and the character of Essie begin to take the spotlight as she found her own way of discovering the truth.
I was surprised this novel was in first person POV, because many MG novels steer away from that, but it was effective for this story since we got to see Essie’s thought-process. I always like reading about a character’s fears from that POV.
“Only now does it finally make sense. Only now do I understand that you can’t be brave unless you’re afraid.”
— Page 215
Suggestions
My only dislike for this was the slower pacing at the beginning. We had to focus on character for whatever book we chose for this week’s reading in my MG writing class, and I couldn’t believe what a scaredy-pants she was…until I realized that was the point of her story.
Conclusion
I initially checked this book out at the library, but after delving into it and realizing the truths it contained and parallels to my own life, I am resolved to buying it and adding it to my permanent bookshelf.
